Eco-group destroys democracy

UPDATE: Our long nightmare is over - the verdict is in, and the court gave us its blessing. Hooray, let's get back to work destroying forests and heritage sites for cheap little condos! If these eco-people will let us. Hm, how likely is that?

Apparently some little eco-group that no one's ever heard of thinks it can take the City of Langford to court! This so-called "Forest Action Network" has the NERVE to try to overturn our council's fast-tracked approval for South Skirt Mountain Village, the most amazing new condo-tower development ever in the history of the world. This case could spell the end of all forms of economic development in Langford, causing everyone to lose their jobs and eventually forcing us to hunt rats to survive.

Everyone knows Langford has an infinite amount of undeveloped forest land. INFINITE. We will never run out! Forests exist to be used and exploited. So don't just sit there, go cut down some trees! It will be good for the economy.

Furthermore, we're assured by South Skirt Mountain spokeslizard Ron Coutre that this "Village" will be super-extra-double-plus-green-and-sustainable, designed as a public service to transform a barren mountainside – home to a ridiculous number of wildflowers, native trees, animal species, seasonal creeks and indigenous cultural sites -- into an eco-paradise of pavement, condo towers, shops, and industrial parks. This will be accomplished in an environmentally-sensitive way, by blasting the hills to smithereens and filling the valleys and wetlands with tons of rubble, and then paving over most of it.

The South Skirt Mountain developers have given their solemn word that they will destroy only 60 percent* of the rare ecosystems and indigenous sites between the abandoned interchange and the insolvent Bear Mountain Resort. So what's the freaking problem, already?

Clearly this mega-sprawl plan is FULL OF AWESOME. And yet, it's not enough to satisfy mouthy tree-hugging doomers. Well, they can suck an egg. We spit on people who think they can hold Langford Council to account for its "unique" brand of decision-making. People who are negative are killing Langford's economy, and democracy! Clearly, anyone who stands up at a public hearing and disagrees with the Mayor should be flogged and ridden out of town on a rail.

GO STEW!!!

*Or more. Whatever.